Amidst Great Joy There is Sorrow...

It's January, 2010. A new year. A fresh start. A new beginning...

On January 23rd we will be leaving for Galveston to take a family cruise. My cousin, Barbara and her husband Benny will be going with us. We are taking my dad and his girlfriend, Lila. We will be heading to the Honduras, Costa Maya and Cozumel/Cancun. Daddy has never been on a cruise before. Neither has Lila. They are both beside themselves with excitement and anticipation. Daddy's travels have been limited to work and military travel. He has been on a ship but it was a military transport when he was 17. Needless to say, this will be quite a different experience. He has been digging out his "cruise clothes" and purchasing things he needs to take (toiletries and such) for weeks. He is...joyful. Or at least he was. His joy has been tempered somewhat.

Tonight when I came home from work I brought pizza for dinner. Daddy was standing in the door of his trailer so I called out to him to get his attention telling him that there was pizza and cinnamon buns for dessert. He said, "Okay" but I could tell it wasn't. I asked the dreaded, "What's wrong?"

Last weekend my Dad spent hours in his trailer calling his brothers and sisters in Oklahoma...just to talk and catch up. He does this every six weeks or so since he got his cell phone with unlimited minutes. He made the comment to me then that Richard, his 89 year old brother, was really the only one he got to talk with for any length of time. One sister was unreachable, one is seriously ill. But Daddy enjoyed his phone visit with Richard.

Today Daddy got word that Richard is not expected to survive the night. Two days ago he got sick, went to the hospital and was diagnosed with double pneumonia. He is lying near death at this point. When Richard is gone Daddy will be the oldest of the surviving children.

I know all the cliches. I know "Richard has lived a long life." I know "God knows what is best." I know that "You don't question God's will or his timing." It's just that Daddy is obviously hurting. I just wish that he had the opportunity to experience the joy of his cruise and travel without the sorrow that comes with losing his brother and without the "in-your-face" realization of his own mortality. My dad has lived a hard life full of poverty and going without. I just want this moment for him.