The "firsts" are always so hard...

I apologize up front if this entry is a bit rambly. My thoughts are rambly right now. Most people who read this will already know that one of our sweet little puppy dogs made the trip across the rainbow bridge this week and is running happily through the fields of Heaven. His name is Sawyer...and he has left a huge hole in my heart. Sawyer started off as Trenton's dog. When he and his mommy moved in with us for a while Sawyer came, too. When they moved on, he stayed. He was happy here. Sawyer was a BIG dog. A big old hound dog. Biggest feet I ever saw on a dog. As big as he was, he was just a teddy bear. He could knock you down just leaning on you to have his head petted. He didn't have a mean bone in his body, though. Sawyer became a "shared" dog when he became enamored of a girl puppy up the road. He would spend much of his time with us, but he also spent some time up at the house on the corner. Many days I would leave for work only to pass him lying in the yard just watching the cars go by. I always waved and smiled at him. I mean, how could you not? Many, many, many times we would go out into the garage only to hear him scrambling around to get up and out of the way so we could move our car. When we came home many times he would be at the corner house and he would jog back to the house with us...leading or following, it didn't matter. He would race to the back door and wait because he knew there were treats on the other side of that door. Something I started this summer was freezing a big bowl of water each night and taking it out the next day so Sawyer and Jovi could have refreshing ice water throughout the day. Sawyer would immediately pounce on that bowl of water and lap away till he got his fill. Another thing...Sawyer was Beau's play buddy. He would roll around on the ground with Beau play fighting. Sometimes he would be on his back with all four legs in the air acting like Beau was getting the best of him. Other times he would have Beau's whole head in his mouth. Though Beau got slobbery, he didn't get hurt. That wasn't the way Sawyer rolled. They were buds and they both enjoyed the play. Today I took a bowl of ice water out...to Jovi. Just Jovi. It broke my heart. No scrambling of feet. No big slurpy drinks. We went out to eat. No scrambling to get out of the way...no Sawyer lying in the yard at the corner. We came home. No Sawyer running along with the car racing us home. No waiting at the door in anticipation of that treat. Some people will think I am crazy. "He was just a dog," they may say. To them I say, "I'm sorry for you. Sorry that you've obviously never know the unconditional love of a pet. Sorry that you can't look beyond the fur to see the spirit, the heart, the love inside that four-legged body." That's why it hurts so much. We will all miss Sawyer. Already do. One thing I know for sure, there are a lot of smiles in Heaven tonight as Sawyers comes racing up and leans in for that pet on the head. Godspeed, Sawyer! We love you!