Memories...

I decorated the Christmas tree today. This is an annual event, obviously, so I don't know why I continue to be surprised by my feelings each year. Let me fill in the background... I have dozens of tree ornaments. Far to many to use all of them on the tree. So, what do I do? I sort through them each year while remembering where and/or why I got them, what the special significance of each would be, etc. I choose the ornaments that "speak to me" each year. They are the ones that make it to hang on the tree. There is one ornament...I should say one style of ornament...that makes it every year. I consider it an honor to put these ornaments on my tree. A little back ground is called for here...As most of you know, I was a teacher for many years. Most of my classroom experience was teaching high school history. I had roughly 125 kids a day passing through my classroom. Despite the numbers, I "adopted" my kids and I still come in contact with many of them today. They are teachers, bank managers, sales staff at the place where I buy my tires, restaurant and bar managers, etc. I can usually recognize either their name or their face. I rarely can put the two together. Throughout my teaching career there were students who stood out for some reason or another. There was one that, professionalism aside, was and still is my favorite student of all time...Jana Burks. Jana was in my US History class. She made me smile, if not laugh out loud, every single day. She had a quick wit, a kind heart, and a brain that she wasn't afraid to use. I trusted Jana...even loved her. Still do, as a matter of fact. I even hired Jana to babysit for us when my kids were small. That's how much I trusted her! Jana talked to me. She told me things she wouldn't tell her girlfriends...things like how much she "loved" that particular boy who didn't even know she was alive. She shared her dreams...she wanted to be a teacher. She talked about how lucky she was to have the family she had since she was adopted. She just talked. I believe she loved and trusted me, too. Fast forward several years to 1994. I was sitting in a photo studio waiting to pick up our family portraits. There was a portrait on display of Jana in her wedding gown taken a couple of years prior. She was absolutely gorgeous! I said something to the photographer about how beautiful she looked and how she was a former student. He asked if I knew she had cancer. My world literally stood still. I remember that moment as if it just happened moments ago. Even as I type this my heart is aching and my eyes are starting to tear. To get to the point, and to spare both you and me the emotional turmoil I am already starting to feel, I got back in touch with Jana. She had been diagnosed with biphasal synovial sarcoma. It's a cancer that strikes in the lining of the body's nerves. She underwent numerous treatments, chemo, radiation, surgery, etc. She would get better...and then worse. Her "husband" (in quotes because, in my opinion, he doesn't deserve the title) left her because he "didn't sign on" for that life. Jana was left to go it alone...or so she thought. She had her mom and dad and her brother. Before all was said and done she also had a community of supporters so big that it defied measure. Somewhere during her ordeal Jana began making these little pasta angels. They were handmade at first just by Jana and they appeared as pins, as ornaments, even as refrigerator magnets. She sold them for $5. It gave her something to do and made her feel useful. One year all of the principals in Lancaster bought them for all of the teachers on our respective staffs. Ronnie helped sell them to officers in Addison. One guy was in a motorcycle club and he bought a bunch of them to sell at meets. We ordered dozens upon dozens of them and sold or gave away almost every one of them. I say "almost" because I still have about a half dozen of the ornaments. And every year they are proudly displayed on my tree. As I put them on the tree I hold them in my hand and remember the beautiful girl that was Jana Burk. I remember how very special she was and how much she impacted not only my life, but that of my family, friends and co-workers. Jana was "the angel girl." She was truly an angel.

Several years ago I got "that" phone call. Jana had lost her battle. It wasn't the cancer that killed her. It was all the damage the cancer drugs had done to her. She had, I was told, multiple organ failure. Today Jana is an "angel girl" in Heaven. I am pleased to say that she did find happiness before giving up this life on earth. She reconnected with someone she had known earlier...a former boyfriend. He knew she had cancer but his love reached beyond that. He and Jana lived out the last of her days as husband and wife. She was at peace with her family...all of them...by her side when she passed. So, each year as I decorate my tree, there is never any question that Jana's angels will be prominently displayed. I am hit with an overwhelming sense of loss. I do, however, eventually find comfort knowing that Jana found peace and happiness and an end to her pain. I find comfort in remembering that beautiful girl with the giggle and grin. I smile at the memory that she was my friend. I am honored by that. So, Godspeed, Jana. Tell Jesus I said "hello!"