Christmas 2010

The final phase of Christmas was held at the McMahen casa on Sunday, Dec. 26th. I really don't know how to explain it, but this season was so much more relaxing and less harried that Christmases past. Christmas Eve was spent with the McMahen/Morgan family as usual. This year it was held in a banquet room at The Holiday Inn Express in Terrell. Nice. Since it's my year to host it next year guess where it will be...same hotel. No ridiculous cleaning beforehand only to have it to do all over again once everyone leaves. No kids tearing through the house reeking havoc along the way. It was less personal but so much easier. There was room to visit and time to visit. White elephant gift exchange was optional this year. Only about 12-15 people participated. 90% of the gifts centered around some kind of alcohol ::snicker:: and the gift exchange did not take very long. I got a neck massager which I will be returning to CVS for a cash refund or store credit. Ronnie got a cool thermometer thing which you mount in the house but gives outdoor readings. Afterward we returned home and relaxed.

On Saturday, which was actually Christmas Day, we went to Kristin's house to hang out and go out to lunch with them. This was Trenton's year with his dad and so we chose to celebrate when he returned. The day started off pretty good with Carter being playful and goofy. However, he was having to take some pretty frequent breathing treatments for his asthma. Deciding on TGIFriday's for lunch, the Durbs went out the back door to their car and we went out the front door to our car. Soon Kristin approached us to inform us that Carter has just yakked all over himself and the carseat. The decision was made to order Friday's take-out and eat at their house. Ron and Scott left to pick up the food and Kristin and I watched the Christmas parade while Carter napped. Gosh, Mariah Carey is HUGE! I don't care if she is pregnant with twins. Her legs look like tree trunks! That aside, there was a mix up with Fridays but we eventually got our food. Delicious! Scott was concerned about my persistent cough so he left to get me some Dayquil. Carter gave himself, and his toy dinosaur, breathing treatments throughout the afternoon, and finally Ron and I headed home.



Once home I set about making the spice cake and chocolate pies for the next day. I also boiled the eggs for deviled eggs and dressing and made a loaf of homemade bread (okay...it was in the breadmaker, but still I made it). I did everything that I could do the night before and finally went to bed around 3 a.m. Up at 7 a.m. I checked on the turkey and set about putting things together to go in to the oven. I actually got a short nap in before the kids started arriving.

Ryan and Rich were the first to arrive. They put the gifts under the tree and Rich went straight to the sofa and fell asleep. He was sick, sick, sick. Ended up in the ER later that night. He awoke only to eat and open gifts. I felt so badly for him. He was miserable and it showed.



Our menu was a staple...but delicious nonetheless. Mimosas to enjoy while waiting for dinner to finish, smoked turkey, ham, dressing, bread, green bean casserole (supplied by Kristin), sweet potato casserole, cranberry sauce, spice cake with cream cheese icing, chocolate pie, peppermint and cinnamon cookies and sopapilla cheesecake. Yes, I went overboard on the sweets. We also had tea, beer, margaritas and crown. May have gone overboard on that, too! ::shrug::

After lunch we opened gifts. Carter is hilarious! He opens a gift and then wants to play with it rather than open more gifts. Trenton is so precious. He came and hugged us after every gift he received from us. Our gifts seemed to be a hit with everyone. Carter got a drum set that he banged on all evening. Trenton got Ben 10 leggos that he played with in between snacking. Ryan and Scott both got gift cards to upgrade their iphones, and Rich got a recliner that he had picked out. Kristin got a kindle which she immediately fell in love with.

The highlight of the gift giving is Trenton's gifts to everyone. Kristin takes him to the Dollar Tree each year and he picks out something special for each person on his list. He puts a lot of thought into his gifts and they are delightful. This year Scott got a light up ax (glowstick), Ryan got a Santa figurine, Rich got a purple frisbee, Ronnie got a tape measure and I got a black and red watch. Kristin got a female figurine. "Trenton and Carter" also got their mommy a special gift with a booklight and a B grade horror DVD. She loves cheap horror movies. This one had four movies on one DVD. Example: "Boy Eats Girl"...he loved her for her brains. How cheesy but she was so excited.

Ryan took a sick Rich home and later Kristin and Scott took the boys home. The cleanup began. I stripped all the Christmas decorations and piled them in the corner under the Christmas tree. Today, I packed those away for next year. House is back to normal...whatever that means.

Tomorrow we are going to meet Kristin and the boys at Chuck E. Cheese. I am also going to get my nails done, return the neck massager and go to Kirkland's to spend some of the gift cards my kids got me.

As I said when I started this blog, the pace was slower and Christmas was so much more enjoyable this year...even though I have been sick for two weeks! Let's pray that 2011 brings us a year of health and happiness and joyful times with the ones we love.

Happy New Year everyone!!

A Reminder for the Season...

I sat outside tonight to watch the lunar eclipse. Beautiful! It was incredibly quiet...the moon started out so bright...the breeze was blowing...the wind chimes tinkling...a peaceful, beautiful reminder of our Creator. The eclipse was breath-taking. The peace...a soothing balm for the busy, stressed soul. Enjoy the pics...the closest you can come to reliving the event with me.

I reserve the right to be pissed off....

Why is it that those you care the most for...the ones you trust the most...are able to cut you to the core. Sometimes I hate people. This is one of those days.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

I saw it last night...the first Christmas commercial on television. It may not have actually been the first to air, but it is the first that I have seen. It seems that every year Christmas gets pushed earlier and earlier on the unsuspecting public. While I love Christmas...my favorite holiday...I prefer to celebrate Halloween before Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving before Christmas, Christmas before New Years, etc., etc., etc. You get the picture, I'm sure.

I must admit that this year is a bit different. In just a few short hours I will leave the house to meet my daughter and off we will go to FINISH my Christmas shopping! I have never had my shopping done so early before. I stress over getting it done...though I have NEVER not been ready when the celebration actually begins. This year I started shopping several months ago. I had to get things done early this year because we are leaving on December 4th to spend the night in Galveston with 10 of our closest friends ::snicker::. Actually, the 11 of us are leaving the following day on a 7 day cruise to the Bahamas about Carnival Cruise Lines. If it wasn't a party cruise line before it certainly will be when we get on board. Headed out with us are BIL & SIL Glen and Carlene, neighbors Vince and Judy, neighbors Freddy and Kay, neighbors Joe and Timpy and niece Shannon. I am so looking forward to this cruise. But I digress... Suffice it to say that I would not enjoy one minute of the cruise if my shopping wasn't finished. I am a worrier. That's what I do.

Last year Christmas shopping seemed so easy because the kids all wanted money. For some reason this year seems even easier. Each close family member (i.e., son, sons-in-law, and daughter) gets one big gift and then a nice stocking filled with somewhat expensive goodies. Not the usual Target Dollar Spot stuff that I am accustomed to. My son and one son-in-law are getting...oops, I forgot that Scott may have access to this through Kristin's blog. Sorry to disappoint, Scott, if you do read this blog, but there will be no hints for you. The other son-in-law is getting a recliner. It's no big secret. It's what he asked for. He even found it at Overstock.com and sent me the item number. How easy is that?::chuckle:: I am fairly certain that he will not be surprised on Christmas. My only problem with that is "How does one wrap a recliner???" My daughter is getting the perfect gift. No, Kristin, no hints for you either. Dad and Dad-in-law (does that make him a dil?::he he he::) are getting Wal-Mart gift cards. White elephant gifts and close friends are wine baskets and I am making personalized etched wine glasses filled with peppermints for the staff at Quest. I have several gifts already wrapped. Yea, me! I am feeling pretty good right now.

As Kristin and I hit the stores today I will start AND FINISH Christmas shopping for both of my little boys. Being "old" I don't pay close attention to the toy market. It has become our habit for Kristin to pick out the toys, put them in my basket and walk to the register with me so I can purchase them. A hard day, right? LOL Not only do I get my Christmas shopping done, I get to spend time with my daughter..my best friend. I get to talk with her without interruption. I get to observe the beautiful and intelligent young woman she has become...though she will be "old" soon. Turns 30 on March 24th. Just kidding, Kristin. With your spirit you will NEVER be old. Again, digression. Anyway, this has become a very special and meaningful time for me.

When I leave Kristin and return home with a car load of goodies, I will drag out the decorations, drink a little wine, put the tree in place, drink a little wine, wrap the gifts, drink a little wine, Christmasize my house, drink a little wine and fall into bed with a sigh of contentment and a smile on my face. Once again, I will be ready for Christmas...only this time I will be able to relax and enjoy the season without the stress of last minute minutia.

Oh, my gosh! Thanksgiving is next week! What in the world am I going to fix for the family pot luck??? I'd better get to the store. But, oh wait, I have to make a list first...then decide what I am going to wear, then ................What are you laughing at??? I said stressing is what I do!

Happy Holidays everyone!!

"F You, too."

Sometimes I hate myself. I am so damn gullible and easily manipulated. You'd think that I would learn, but no...

The signs were everywhere and I didn't see them. I can't really blame anyone but myself, really. If I was half the mother I aspire to be I would have stepped in a long time ago...but I let guilt get to me. Sympathy overrode my common sense.

My daughter doesn't come to the house and visit or bring the boys because she doesn't want them around my dad.

My son, because of something my dad said, will no longer see his grandfather. Apparently on top of being a drunk, my dad is a liar as well.

As a mom I should have told my dad he had to go. I felt sorry for him. He has no one else. He has nowhere else to go. He lives on a fixed income and times are tough. The biggest excuse of all...he is my dad. I am all he has. I can't abandon him.

After his last drunken episode Daddy was told that the trailer had to go. He's been fixing it up "to sell it" for several days now. He asked for the title that I had filed a couple of days ago because he wanted to "look it over." I believed every word of it.

Tonight the proverbial shit hit the fan. Daddy went to the doctor today for tests on his legs. He chose not to come home tonight...went to my cousins house instead. I know that he and my cousin go to the VFW together so...I called him and told him that I had taken off work tomorrow and would go with him to an alcohol assessment program in Oak Cliff. His immediate response was no, Oak Cliff is dangerous. When I told him that it was non-negotiable he said we would talk about it when he got home tomorrow. I said, "No, we are going to the assessment tomorrow. Be home by 10:00 a.m." He said he probably couldn't get up and get home that early. He told me to go on and go to work tomorrow and we would talk about it. I told him no, I was off work and we were going. Ronnie got on the phone and said, "Luther, you're going or you can't live here anymore." Daddy proceeded to call Ronnie a son of a bitch and then attempted to hang up on him. He failed to disconnect however and I listened for almost five minutes to him telling my cousin that he was going to leave Sunday anyway as soon as we went out of town. I heard him lie about not knowing why we wanted him to go to assessment because he hadn't been drinking. I heard him call my husband names when all we have attempted to do is provide him with a home. After about 5 minutes I hung up, called him back and repeated word for word the lies and names I heard him call. I told him he is no longer welcome to live in our home because he lies about us, manipulates us and is a stinkin' drunk who won't get help. I told him that I will not sacrifice my marriage on the alter of his drunkenness. He said, "Sis, I don't want any hard feelings." I said, "You know, it's too late for that." He thought he hung up on me when he turned to my cousin and said, "I showed her. I hung up on her." I overheard stories of him saying he was going to get the sheriff and come get his stuff. He doesn't need a sheriff. His shit is packed and waiting on him. He said something, too, about getting a gun. I don't know if it was a threat or not, but if I find out that he was threatening to bring a gun to my home to coerce us to do something I will make sure that his unstable ass is committed.

Bottom line...I have had it. His living here for one year has taken it's toll on both of us, on our home life and on our marriage. I won't allow that to happen. If my father decides to drink himself to death...that will be his choice. He won't let us help him. It will be what it will be. And I am okay with that.

Thanks for Sharing...

My business partner and I left last Thursday and headed 4 1/2 hours north to Bricktown, Oklahoma. We were headed to a winery there called "Put a Cork in It." The owner, a delightful man named John, and his stepdaughter, Morgan, were allowing us to invade their space for two full days so we could observe and learn from them. Ron came up on Saturday and jumped into the winemaking process with both feet (figuratively speaking).

I can't tell you how much I learned...or how much FUN I had. Not only did I get to bottle, cork, seal and label a wine called "Red Dirt Road," I got to conduct wine tastings with customers and sell them glasses and bottles of wine. I got to stock the wine racks, wash the glasses...do it all. It was a BLAST!! Oh yeah, Morgan even insisted that I take my tips! LOL!! Saturday was b..u..s..y!! They sold $2000+ and they are only open from 1pm to 9pm. We were hoppin' the whole time. It was an incredible experience and I can't wait to get my winery open so I can do this all the time!

I have to stop here to tell you that John and Morgan are some of the most giving, unselfish people that I have ever met. John did not hesitate to give us tips and shortcuts and tell us of obstacles to avoid. He shared his "secrets" such as the tools he has developed himself and even gave us his password to accounts so that we could look at wholesale prices for equipment and supplies. He is kind and patient and easy to develop a relationship with. After just a few minutes I felt we were lifelong friends. Morgan is a precious young woman of 26 who treated us as equals rather than the rookies we are. She gave help when needed and was generous with her time and help.

In addition to the wealth of knowledge (and 2 bottles of Red Dirt Road!) that I took away from this experience is the committment to provide that same type of unselfish mentoring to anyone who approaches us at Once Upon a Vine for our help. Not all lessons are "head" lessons...some are lessons of the heart. Thank you, John and Morgan, for sharing with us. May we continue to be friends for many years to come.

Deja Vu...and Screw You

My dad threw a giant, if figurative, "Screw You" at me last night. Not that I am all that surprised. Ronnie had been warning me and I had been fighting it...and him. Comments like, "You just can't forgive and forget, can you?" or "Does nobody get a second chance with you?" or even, "What about innocent until proven guilty?"

What am I talking about? Ronnie had tried to tell me that he thought my dad was still drinking. I vehemently denied it and said that there was no "EVIDENCE" to back that up...only his speculation.

It was more than speculation when we came home from a wonderful day playing with our youngest grandson and then out to eat with my boys and my BIL and SIL. My dad's trailer door was standing open and the keys were in the door. The trailer was completely dark and it was already dark outside. Just inside the door my drunk-on-his-ass father was lying in the floor where he had fallen. He is 5'5" and weighs 180 lbs. Not a lightweight. It took Ronnie on one side and me on the other lifting and tugging and pulling to get him to his feet. It took us over half an hour to get him from the trailer into the house. He got as far as the living room when he just buckled to the floor. We didn't have the strength to get him up. He lay in the floor for about 10 minutes while we got our strength back. During that time he peed all over himself. Great scene for a daughter to witness. Did wonders to my respect for him. Finally we got him in bed. I went to bed...after apologizing to my husband for refusing to listen to him. He only wants me to not get hurt again. I understand that...but he was talking about "My Daddy."

About 20 minutes after I went to bed I heard Ronnie turn on the shower. I lay there in the dark thinking about this mess when I heard a loud crash. Ronnie flung open the bedroom door and said, "Help me. He's fallen in the bathroom." Seems Daddy had gotten up to wash his face or something and splashed water everywhere. Then his crutch slipped on the watery tile and he crashed to the floor. We got him back in bed and I got pissed. I got the keys to the trailer and Ronnie and I went out there and found the stash of beer cans (all empty) hidden in the microwave. Oh, no. He wasn't keeping secrets or trying to hide anything. Didn't find any unopened cans or any other liquor but we did unload and bring all of his guns in the house and hid them.

Today will be a day of reckoning. I intend to tell my Dad that he has to move. No, he may not take the trailer. He will sign over everything to me and he will move into assisted living. Period. I will go through and empty the trailer and sell it. He is no longer going to have that option. His only other option is to enter Alcoholics Anonymous if he wants to stay here. He went to 2 meetings before and quit because it was too smoky. They offer it at the church now. The trailer still goes. And he will spend NO nights away from home. It seems when he went to the lake with his girlfriend he was drinking down there and she knew it. He has quit going by her house and has been stopping off at "a friend's house" where he has been drinking as well.

The bottom line to all this is that I turned a corner today. I am not crying. I am not hurt. I am not upset. I am matter-of-fact and the fact of the matter is that I just don't want my dad living with me anymore. I don't want to know how stupid he can be. I don't want to lose any more respect for him...if there's any left to lose. I don't even like the man he has become and I don't want to be around him. He is a conniving, secretive bastard who has been gloating at my blind allegiance while he took advantage and played me for a fool. I'm done.