Done, done and DONE!

Well, we did it! We actually finished a project that we started! Ronnie joked that we turned a 3 day project into a three week project, but the end result is that the table is finished...it is beautiful...AND it was done in time to use for Christmas. With 34 people at my house for Christmas Eve, some of us actually sat outside by the chiminea and ate our dinner at the new table. And better still...it didn't collapse on anyone breaking their legs off at the knee and spilling their dinner all over the freshly swept patio! I'm actually quite proud of our accomplishment. Now...on to the next project!

A Labor of Love

I'll start by telling you that I usually don't have the "vision" for creative and/or crafty projects. There you have it...my disclaimer. That being said...I, or rather "we," have started a project. I formerly had this kitchen table that we moved out onto the patio. It wasn't meant to be an outside table...not made of the right materials to handle inclement weather. Needless to say, it is no more. So I was left with these two perfectly good table legs. That's where this process started. Then, after watching waaayyyy too much HGTV, I got the nifty idea that I could resurface this table and have a great outdoor table for entertaining. The adventure begins. After a rather lengthy trip to Home Depot, we left with $200 worth of materials to make a tile topped table. Little did I realize that we could have gone to IKEA and purchased a perfectly fine outdoor table for 1/3 of the cost. Never mind that...this is to be a labor of love and a project we can point to with pride and say, "We did that." So we left Home Depot with the back gate tied in place and an 8 foot board sticking out of the back of Ronnie's car. We also had packages containing backerboard, mastik, tile, tile border, grout, waterproofer, spacers, mastik tools, grout tools and tile sealer. We'll have to go back for the edge trim! We didn't quite make it home without incident. One of the packages fell out of the back of the open gate and we had to stop on a heavily trafficked road and pick it up. Finally, however, we made it home without further incident. Then today, after I repainted the table legs a lovely shade of black, we went into the garage to begin the tabletop process. We measured and cut the board. We got out the waterproofer and sealed the board (even though the directions said it shouldn't be done if the temperature would be lower than 50 degrees in the next 48 hours--what can it hurt, right?). Then, just for grins, we began laying the tile out on top of the board to "see how it will look." If this project EVER gets done it will be a nice looking table. Right now, however, the tile squares and the tile border are two different heights, we are 2 feet by 2 feet short of the correct number of tiles and the tile border will have to be returned. Oh, and by the way, it dawned on me this afternoon that I will need to find some chairs to go with this table. I feel like Dorothy...you know, the one who went to Oz...

Imagine me clicking the heels of my ruby slippers, okay....my gray New Balance tennis shoes, together and chanting, "I will get this done...I will get this done...I will get this done!" Pictures will be posted when/if this project actually comes to fruition.

Cruises, Babies...A few of my favorite things!

Okay. So you MAY have been wondering..."Why isn't she adding to this blog?" Or, maybe not. Maybe you just don't care. Either way...I will remedy my absence from blogging immediately. Allow me to explain. I haven't gone missing because there has been nothing of significance going on in my life. Quite the opposite. There has been almost TOO MUCH of significance for me to keep up with. Allow me to start with our cruise. It was fabulous! We left on September 26th to drive to Florida and set sail on September 28th. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law went with us. We had a great time and it was a wonderful opportunity to get to know them even better. Somehow, when you spend 10 days with someone you walk away with a whole new knowledge of them. We had a great time and didn't seem to experience "too much togetherness syndrome." On Monday, September 29th, Ron and I went parasailing over Coco Cay, Bahamas. For someone who is acrophobic I wondered if I would be able to follow through with our excursion. Not to worry. I had absolutely no fears as we strapped in to the harness and lifted into the air. And....it was incredible! I would do it again in a heartbeat. Everything was awe-inspiring from a height of a few hundred feet. I just kept saying, "This is awesome!" Afterwards we went snorkeling in the bay where we saw a moray eel. Cool! Then I managed to get stung by a jellyfish...had to be a small one because I never saw it but I sure felt it. Not that horrible pain you've heard about but a burning sensation for a while. That evening we called home to wish our son a "happy 25th birthday." I swear it wasn't to say, "Hey, we're in the Bahamas and you're not!" In St. Thomas we rode underwater motorcycles and went snorkeling and it was amazing. There were soooo many fish right in our faces and we could just reach out and touch them. Ron snorkeled and took pictures of a baraccuda that was swimming around underneath the boat while Carlene and I inquired about a good place to have dinner. Little did we know that four hamburgers and four margaritas (total, not each) would cost us $100!! Live and learn. In St. Maarten we shopped, snorkeled and toured the island. While St. Maarten was incredibly beautiful this was my least favorite of the excursions. Why? The bus tour was too long and the driver was hard to understand. The best part of the day was our snorkeling adventure on the catamaran. After snorkeling they played music and served rum punch. Let's just say that the punch was strooonggggg! I went from stone cold sober to giggly drunk in about 5.8 seconds. All of us did. Glen, my brother-in-law, claimed to be sober yet he was up on deck dancing with the female bartender. You be the judge of his sobriety! Back on board the ship we continued with the "drink of the day" and by the end of the evening we were just about the only people on deck entertaining ourselves to dancing to "YMCA" while in the hot tub. Yeah...we were a bit obnoxious. On the way back from the islands we celebrated Ronnie's birthday Saturday aboard the ship and on Sunday we docked in Florida for our return trip home. We drove straight through stopping only for food and bathroom breaks and got back about 3:00 a.m. on Monday morning. What an adventure!

We'd been back less than 48 hours when I began subbing in Forney ISD. I have worked ALMOST every day since. For a retired person I am quite busy. For the most part I am enjoying the subbing experience. It lets me keep my contact with kids and the whole teaching experience without the negatives of paperwork, grading papers, lesson plans, ARD meetings, parent conferences.......you get the point.

Oh, yeah. I scheduled a day off kinda for myself. I decided to take Monday, November 10th, off because my daughter was going to induce labor on that day. Unfortunately, no one told my grandson and he decided to come on Friday, November 7th! Yes, we have a brand new and precious grandson. His name is Carter Michael Durbin and he is a doll. Cute and cuddly and baby smelling little bundle of love. I miss the "turtle head" days when my own children, and when my grandson Trenton, were little. You know the stage...too little to control their head so it bobbles around like a turtle. Something so sweet and innocent about that stage as they try to look at you with eyes that won't quite focus. So now, I am Nana to TWO precious little boys. Life couldn't get any busier...or better...than this!

Good Question...

Really, the song says it all. By Christian singer Mark Schultz, the song is called "Time That is Left."

What will you do with the time that's left?
Will you live it all with no regret?
Will they say that you loved till your final breath?
What will you do with the time that's left?

What will you do with the time that's passed?
Oh, and all the pain that seems to last?
Can you give it to Jesus and not look back?
What will you do with the time that's passed?

What will they say when your time has come
And He takes you in to His arms of love?
With tears in His eyes will He say, "Well done."
What will they say when your time has come?

I have regrets...who doesn't? But the thought of consciously living a life of no regret is liberating. That will be one of my goals. Think before I act or speak so that I enjoy a full and rewarding life of no regret.

Will they say that I loved till my final breath? Dear Lord, I hope so. I do love...dearly and deeply. My husband....my son....my daughter....my son-in-law....my Trenton...my other grandson to be...my dad...my extended family...my friends. Thinking about it...there is really no one in my life that I detest. I am blessed.

What will I do with the pain of the past? I can easily give it to Jesus...it's the not looking back part that I struggle with. If I was Lot's wife I would already be a pillar of salt!! The best that I can do is try.

What will they say when my time has come? Therein lies the question of a lifetime...literally. I pray that they, whoever they are, will say that I was compassionate, loving, charitable, a true friend, honest, a person of integrity and someone they were proud of...someone they loved. Just recently I had a conversation with my grandson and he said, "You're my best Nana ever. I'm always proud of you, Nana." There is no higher praise here on earth. That is a high calling to which I have a tremendous responsibility to maintain. When I get to Heaven, I pray for Christ to look me in the eye and say, "Well done."

Now, to live my life that way from this point forward....

Some of my favorites...

What the hell...?

Okay....finally I get it. I finally feel "retired." And guess what. It feels WEIRD! It finally hit me when school started this week and I knew that everyone was back at work. Summer was officially over....and I had no place to go. Make no mistake...I LOVE being able to work out at 10:00 a.m. or take a shower at 11:30 a.m. or sleep until 9:30 or stay up until 2:00 a.m. reading if I want to...but I have never had this life of luxury before. I went to work when I was sixteen years old and I have NEVER been unemployed since! Okay, there was one day (actually about 15 hours) when I left Lancaster before I got the call from Scurry. Other than that....always had a job. And a paycheck. Now I get this mysterious (and tiny) money appearing magically in my checking account at the end of the month. It just doesn't feel right. And to be honest....I'm not too sure I like it. I feel like I don't have a purpose. I can still fill up a day with activity but it doesn't seem to matter whether I do something today or tomorrow or next week. Like I said...weird. So, guess what I did this week. I made appointments with two neighboring school districts to interview for substitute teaching positions. I know, I know. I thought that once I walked away I would feel so liberated that I would never set foot in a school again. But.......I think it's like a virus. Once it gets in your bloodstream it's just kind of difficult to get rid of it! At least this way I can choose not to work if I stayed up till 2:00 a.m. the night before reading!

Painful Reminders

You know, it never crossed my mind that I would be the only family my dad had left....until it happened. Now, there are frequent reminders and each time I am reminded....I miss my mom and brother that much more.

Daddy is in the hospital...again. This time it's pneumonia and dehydration. His kidneys aren't functioning properly but that is probably due to the dehydration. No, it's probably not serious and will require only 3 or 4 days in the hospital. But it sparked that little niggle of emotion (anger? sorrow? both? more?) that he should have only me to depend on. Make no mistake, I love my dad and I will be by his side through whatever....I just feel that he is somehow cheated by not having other family members to fuss over him when he is having difficulties.

Losing mom was a slow and agonizing process. Her passing was almost a relief. She was in such emotional pain. Alzheimers is a hateful disease. It steals the mind of the one you love and leaves their body behind for a while. You've lost them, but you can't grieve their passing because they are physically still with you. I watched mom regress mentally until she was meek and childlike and would ask me, "Now whose kid are you?" She fretted that she would "get in trouble for being out too late with a boy." She was lost and scared because she didn't know most people and she couldn't seem to get home. The sorrow of her passing was softened in that I knew she would be relieved of her own personal hell.

My brother's death was another story. Unexpected, at best. No long drawn out illness. Just woke up jaundiced one day and two months later we buried him. I remember that a couple of weeks after my brother died I went to the cemetary and just stared at his grave...trying to make it real and make sense of it. After a while I got angry...then I let him have it. I said all the things that maybe I should have said while he was still alive to hear them. I railed at him for drinking himself to death. I reminded him that Daddy was still here and would require some taking care of as he aged and that I somehow always thought he would be there to finally step in and help with things. I cried...I yelled...I laid out the guilt trip...I told him how sad and disappointed I was. But the fact of the matter is that Bob was gone and Daddy was stuck with me. It was a fact that would take some getting used to. Guess I'm not there yet.

Remembering all of that, still when I got the phone call that Daddy was being hospitalized for treatment, my first thought was, "I'd better let Bob know." That's when it hurts the most...when you are suddenly and brutally reminded of the hole in your heart.